No Fun Fudge
by Blackwolf-20
Summary: After Fudge inflicts strict rules upon Hogwarts, the Gryffindors take their revenge on him. Written for Lady Phoenix Fire Rose Fudge's Humiliation Competition.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**This fic is a competition brought on by **Lady Phoenix Fire Rose**, where Fudge needed to be humiliated. Here, Fudge wants to officially announce Umbridge as the headmaster of Hogwarts, and the students are not taking it lightly. **

**warning: Gryffindors are darker than usual here.**

No Fun

Cornelius Fudge didn't expect to receive smiles or a kind round of applause as he stared out at the sea of the students of Hogwarts from behind what was once Dumbledore's podium. He expected the irritated faces, yet he kept up the smile of satisfaction. He had convinced himself that they would one day appreciate what he was doing. It was for the best after all. They were young wizards and witches that needed to learn that Hogwarts was a serious educational institution. It wasn't a place of mischief and careless play. It was a place in serious need of a proper headmaster. One that would not spread nonsense of the rise of 'He Who Must Not Be Named". They needed a headmaster who could teach students carefully, without inducing the idea of vigilante behavior. They would learn without mischief magic making. They would be well organized, well behaving students who followed the law with great respect.

He didn't expect them to fully understand that it was for their benefit. '_They'll appreciate what I'm doing,' _he told himself.

"Well," he started. "Well. I'm pleased to visit the fine students of Hogwarts once again. You are our future after all, and I'm pleased to see that Professor Umbridge is doing such fine work with all of you." He looked over his shoulder at the soon to be new headmaster of Hogwarts, who was smiling adoringly at him. Fudge smiled and nodded to her, then he turned back to his audience. "You-"

The _boos_ and cries of outrage came sooner than he expected. Fudge still kept up the smile and waved his arms.

"Now now my children. I know you're all still very upset at the sudden departure of your previous headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. But you must understand, that a man like that is not suitable for running this school."

Suddenly, one of the students from the Gryffindor table stood up. His eyes were narrowed in a dark glare.  
"Albus Dumbledore was the best thing that ever happened to this school!" he shouted. His fellow peers patted him on the back and cheered.

"Yeah!"

"You tell him Seamus!"

"It's Umbridge that should get the sack!" cried a tall, red-headed boy Fudge believed he knew to be a Weasley.

"Yeah," agreed his twin. "And a train ticket back to where she came from!"

The roars of approval were deafening. Fudge hadn't expected it. He turned to Umbridge who had a curious look on her face. She seemed to be consciously recording everyone who was speaking against her. After a moment, she turned to him.

"You see Cornelius, very unruly. It's what's happened after Dumbledore's allowed them so much leniency."

"Yes, well, let us get things under control shall we," Fudge tried.

"Why I thought that's what I was here for," she said sweetly.

"I have no doubt that you can't get this school on the right track. Students, students, please! Believe me...I understand!" The roars of anger and insults quieted. Everyone was watching him expectantly. "I understand, that you have this closeness to your old headmaster, and it may be hard for you to let go of that, but it is all for your own good. You are under the care of a very kind-hearted young lady who has your interest at heart. I stand by that. And that is why, I am here today. To officially induct Dolores Umbridge as headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Fudge was prepared for the onslaught of rage. Most of the students were on their feet. The majority who weren't, were the ones from the Slytherin table. Trying to get their attention seemed hopeless now, especially when the Weasley twins began chanting, "We want Dumbledore! We want Dumbledore!" The phrase was ringing out of the voices of almost every student.

"I guess it can't be helped," he sighed to himself. He pointed his wand at his throat and whispered sonorous. "ENOUGH!" There was silence. "I SHALL NOT STAND FOR THE DISRESPECT OF YOUR NEW HEADMASTER! YOU WILL FOLLOW HER ORDER AND YOU WILL RESPECT IT! AND TO MAKE SURE THERE IS NO PROBLEMS WITH THIS, I WILL BE OCCUPYING HOGWARTS FOR A WEEK, JUST TO MAKE SURE!" There were a lot more groans at this. Fudge didn't let it deter him. "SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN BEHAVE, AND BECOME RESPONSIBLE YOUNG ADULTS AND I WILL CONSIDER ALLOWING YOU TO HAVE ONE OF YOUR PRIVELEGES."

At that comment, many of the students were tossing one another bewildered looks. Fudge took the opportunity to surprise them by giving the answer.

"DUE TO YOUR LACK OF PROPER BEHAVIOR, I HAVE DECIDED TO BAND ALL GAMES OF QUIDDITCH HERE AT THIS SCHOOL!"

The roars of anger came even louder, and this time, there were several students from the Slytherin's table jumping up and crying out angrily. Banning Quidditch was a soar spot for all. Fudge gave a small smile. '_If that's what it takes to get their attention, then so be it'. _

"YOU WILL THANK ME LATER." He flicked his wand and turned off the spell. "Thank you professor Umbridge."

"No, thank you Cornelius."

He was oblivious to the cries. He barely caught sight of the twins making to run and attack him. If not for Harry and Ron holding them back, it would be a serious punishment on Fudge's behave. Fudge made his way down, but tossed a glance at the angry students. Many of their looks seemed to border past normal teenaged anger. The looks were definitely something to be concerned about, but Fudge refused to let it worry him. He was in full control, both himself and Umbridge, and there was nothing the students nor staff of Hogwarts could do about it. With a satisfied nod, he placed his bowler hat on his head and strolled unharmed off to the side and listened as Umbridge made her acceptance speech.

For the next couple of days, Fudge was pleased to see that the students of Hogwarts were taking his advice. There was no unruly behavior from them. There was the occasional outbreak of a breaking of one of Umbridge's decrees, but they were minor, and either Fudge or Umbridge sought to it right away. He was pleased to see the other professors correcting students behavior as well. He now walked the halls with confidence. Confident that he had done the right thing in establishing Umbridge as headmaster. Confident, that they were making progress with the students. Confident that Dumbledore's foolishness had been undone. However, there was still the matter of the Gryffindors. They had been giving him the cold shoulder every since the announcement. Whenever he walked past any of them, they would instantly fall silent and become as rigid as a statue. If they had been up to something before he had come along, it stopped immediately. None looked him in the eye. It didn't matter. He wasn't here to be their friend. That had been Dumbledore's mistake. Making friends with students instead of rising above them. Fudge shook his head at the thought of the old man. Such friendliness was bound to cause the students to become even more out of hand, and before anyone would know it, the students would have surpassed him. He could never allow that to happen. The students had their place and he had his. He was the law and they were the law abiding wizards.

Still, there was the matter of the Gryffindors. He couldn't help feeling that they were up to something. That feeling was the reason he was headed toward their common room at the moment. He had received permission from Umbridge to look in on them; to catch them during the evening to make sure they were completing the extra homework assignments all students had recently received. Against the staff's wishes, Umbridge had enforced a decree for professors to double the workload. The more paper work and reading assigned to them, the less chance there was of any of them practicing dangerous wand magic. Fudge hadn't seen any sign of it, but she was sure it was happening. Either way, Fudge would find out. He was all for this final law.

He approached the Fat Lady who gazed at him suspiciously.

"Password."

"The Headmaster has given me permission to inspect the Gryffindor house. I'm sure you received word of it?"

"Oh yes," she said with a small nod. "But, I'm not sure you want to go in there alone."

"If it is a case of a messy environment, I need not fear. They are teenagers after all."

"That's not exactly what I meant, but go on," she said curiously as she swung open her portrait.

Fudge gave it no mind. He entered the room where the Gryffindors were packed together in a tight group, whispering excitedly. They were so absorbed that they did not notice him, until he cleared his throat. The sound wasn't nearly like that of Umbridge's, but it was enough to get their instant attention.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your discussion, but, I have come to see that you're all exhibiting proper studying habits." There was pure silence following his opening remarks. "But I must insist, if you're not going to study, you will return to your rooms. It's nearly bedtime. But before you do that, I must insist that you manage the appropriate respect for the laws that the headmaster has-"

"She's not our headmaster!" one of the boys yelled coldly.

"That your headmaster has enforced," Fudge continued. "She has shown concern that some of the students, this house in particularly, are going behind our backs. Attempting to follow the old ways of your old headmaster. That, we will not allow."

"Why don't you go back to the Ministry you old wart!" one of the boys dared to cry out. It was the same boy who was the first to stand up for Dumbledore during his speech.

"All you and old toad face are doing is spreading lies and enforcing cruelty!" cried another.

"We want Dumbledore back!"

"You can't tell us what to do!"

"Children children please!" Fudge cried. "I'd much prefer not to alert Professor Umbridge on your behavior, but I shall if you continue. You simply do not understand what is best for you."

At this, the students began the roars of anger. Fudge narrowed his eyes and was about to speak when one of the red-headed twins stood before him with his hands raised.

"Now now guys, settle down. Mr. Fudge is right."

Everyone quieted at once and had looks of shock on their faces. Fudge was also taken aback, but refused to show it.

"Fred, have you gone mad?" asked Seamus.

"Not at all," he said, with a small grin that Fudge couldn't see. "I'm simply saying that Fudge is right. We don't understand what's best for us. That's why they're here, he and Umbridge. They are here for our benefit."

Since Fred's back was to him, Fudge missed the wink and wicked grin he tossed at his fellows. George smiled and stepped to his brother's side.

"Fred's right," George agreed. "Fudge and Umbridge are here to help us. So we shouldn't be complaining. We should be making the effort to make use of this opportunity. Isn't that right Mr. Fudge?"

"Oh yes, that is correct." He had gotten over his surprise fast enough. Now he was delighted to see actual progress in the students. He had completely missed the wands extending from the brothers' sleeves. "What we are doing is all for your benefit. Now, I can understand that there is some hard feelings over the loss of your Quidditch games, but you now have the opportunity to make full use of your studying without thinking of game strategies."

"Right," Fred agreed. "I mean, we can do without Quidditch, as long as we have something else to replace it."

"Uh, something else?" Fudge questioned, not understanding. "Like what?"

"Well that's where you come in," said George. Now at last, Fudge was able to see the wicked grin upon his face, and the wand poised threateningly in his hand. His twin was the same. He looked around at the others. There were no looks of surprise-only mad determination. Fudge began to back away.

"What is this? If you're thinking of doing something to me, you'd better think twice."

Fudge started to reach for his own wand.

"We did think twice," said Fred. "And then we thought once more."

Fudge moved, but his wand flew into the air. It made an arch and was grabbed by one of the boys. Now the panic was setting in. He turned to the portrait. It was no wonder she had warned him not to come in alone. She wasn't there when he ran to it. A spell flew over his shoulder and hit the entrance. Fudge pulled at the exit, but it was stuck. He was trapped. He turned and saw the students advancing on him.

"Use your senses! I am Minster of Magic, have you forgotten!" he cried angrily.

"I think you're the one that's forgotten," cried a sandy haired boy. "Forgotten that it's not right to abuse your power as a minister."

Fudge opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when he felt a strange tingling in his fingers. He was shocked to see them starting to fatten up, like little sausages. He looked up to see the twins had their wands pointed at him. A faint blue glow was coming from the tips.

"What are you...stop this immediately!" he demanded. But they didn't stop. The fattening was moving down to his hands which were becoming as large and round as a quaffle. He felt his belly starting to extend, like a rush of air was pumping him up. His legs were also becoming rounded. The fatness of his hands moved up to his arms. Fudge made to run to his fallen wand, but he fell onto his stomach. A chorus of laughs echoed all around him.

"That's it Fred, keep it on him," said George. "Get him nice and full."

Fudge rolled onto his back as he felt the pressure roll down into his backside. Both cheeks were becoming as large as Hagrid's own backside. The toes were experiencing the same thing as his fingers and soon so was the rest of his feet. His shoes couldn't take it so they burst open. His legs were getting too large for his pants which ripped in half.

"Stop this at once! STOP THIS!" he yelled to deaf ears. They weren't listening. They were beyond his control. He waved his fat little arms, but it was no use. His robes burst from his rising chest. Buttons were flying off like fireworks. Fudge gave a yell of surprise as he felt his face starting to plump. His head was sinking down to the point in which he had no neck. His shoulders rose up in a mass as his back started to round out. His clothes, unfortunately, couldn't take anymore, and neither could his underwear. There was a snap and his underwear had torn to shreds. The same had happened to his shirt. Fudge could feel his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. There he was, the minister of magic, laid naked for all to see. There were chuckles at this.

"No need to worry Fudge," Fred assured him. "Quaffle balls don't wear clothing. So, it's all natural."

There was a roar of laughter at the joke. Fudge was not only fighting the continued inflation, but the shame of his nudity as well as the fright from being called a quaffle ball. Fudge tried to yell out, but he no longer could. Fudge continued to grow until he was in a perfectly rounded shape that was starting to rise into the air. He had no arms. They had sunk as his arms had disappeared into his sides. The same went for his legs. He was the reflection of a beach ball with fat little hands and feet sticking out. Fudge was rolling about in the air above fascinated onlookers.

"Well done Fred," George complimented.

"I'd say well done on both our parts," said Fred. He turned to the smiling crowd. "So, who's up for a little late-night volley ball?"

Fudge could not believe what was happening. Aside from his rounded appearance as a giant beach ball, he was sure his face was as red as a quaffle. '_How could they!'_ he thought wildly. He was Minister of Magic. He deserved respect. But right now he wasn't getting any of it. Right now, he was a joke, a literal joke. If only he hadn't come alone. If only he had brought guards. A part of him never expected the students to rise up against him, and especially not in this manner, and there was nothing he could do about it. Fudge was numb with shock as he felt the hands of students push against his chest when he came floating down. Fudge rolled head over heels, then felt the hands push up against his backside as he came down again. He gave a few desperate waves of his hands and feet. It did nothing to remind the students that they were torturing a human being. They unconsciously divided into two groups and volleyed him back and forth.

"Keep score Jordan!" one of them cried.

"I got it."

And so a real game began.

Fudge would not be deflated anytime soon. He would be around for a week, so it would be a week's worth of volleying Fudge. It would be a game known as "Fudging". When not in use, he was placed in the Gryffindor's supply closet. No one assumed the worst. The staff had thought Fudge had gone back early, while the staff at the ministry expected him to be on duty at the castle. The Gryffindors assured themselves it was all in good fun to keep Fudge that way for a while, and when it was time for him to be a minister again, he would be deflated. To keep themselves protected, his memory would be erased, but the feeling of being volleyed would remain.

Til then, Fudge remained floating in the closet, red-faced, and anxiously awaiting what would occur at the next round of "Fudging". Fudge gave a small sigh.

'_Maybe Dumbledore did know what was best for them'_ he thought quietly.

**Alright, there it is. ****Lady Phoenix Fire Rose****, I hope you enjoyed it, and others as well who read this fic. The plotline of Fudge being blown up was inspired by what happened to Aunt Marge, as well as my own challenge prompt where I asked people to inflate a character. Since no one took it on, I decided to combine it with this challenge. Originally it was going to be a two-shot where I would also humiliate Umbridge, but that is also a challenge I am issuing, and here I wanted to concentrate on one character. **


End file.
